Cut the Police, We Need the Arts!!!

Corpus Christi, TX (SPA) -- In a move widely hailed by arts and crime experts everywhere, Corpus Christi city manager Bill Hennings has proposed cuts in the public safety budget in order to fund local arts organizations that might not otherwise be funded. The plan includes eliminating a new ladder truck for the city, cutting down on police personnel and cutting the street budget in order to raise the city's cultural level.

In addition, the city plans to outlaw crime, arson and potholes so that any shortfalls in the budget will not affect the safety of the citizens. Hennings is also counting on local citizens to voluntarily raise their sales taxes by one eighth of a cent in order to create a crime control district to create a fund to replace any cuts from the city budget.

Criticism is expected, especially in light of the present controversy in the town over a billboard warning tourists that the police department is short 155 officers. "We need a police force that can do more than draw on criminals with a pencil" scoffed one critic.

Hennings has denied that should the tax proposal fail he would be accepting grant proposals to teach the various arts to the criminals. "We have tried to sculpt this proposal to meeting the needs of the citizens, making it more paletteable to vote for." Meanwhile, street gangs celebrated the decision pointing out that they have been practicing their art on buildings and fences throughout the city already, and that they plan to apply for funds to continue their art.


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