Sesame Street, CTW (SPA) -- October 10, 2001 Crack FBI counter-terrorist agents, backed up by National Guard Troops and an elite SWAT team struck back in the first full scale raid against domestic terrorism today according to an anonymous source in the new Homeland Defense Agency. SPA reporters on the ground with the task force say that the raid was swift, brutal and sure. While the main suspect was not present, the force made many arrests.
Meanwhile, residents of
Bert, a terrorist: the news sent tremors throughout the whole
"You can not imagine the terror that
Workers had noted that pigeons seemed to be acting in concert recently. When
they saw the poster of Osama bin Laden with Bert, the
threat became clear. After a brief investigatory period, agents became
convinced of Bert’s connection to bin Laden, and his plan to attack
Among the detainees, Ernie was released almost immediately when investigators realized that more often than not Ernie foiled Bert’s plans. Meanwhile, Oscar is still being held for interfering with a law officer by telling them to "GO AWAY!" when they ran into his trashcan. Gonzo, Animal and Cookie Monster were arrested because of their alleged membership in FLP. The Count was arrested for interfering in the investigation as he followed them around saying, "One, one alleged terrorist. Two, two alleged terrorists. Three, three alleged…"
Elmo, spokesman for the remaining Funny Looking Puppets appealed for the release of Gonzo, Animal and Cookie Monster noting that while the initials were ominous, they had nothing to do with terrorism. He denounced the terrorist activities of Bert and called for his quick capture.
And that is the sad part, for it seems that Bert had flown the coop, so to speak. Authorities believe that a pigeon hanging around FBI offices flew back and tipped Bert off to the coming raid. They promise to keep on looking, wherever pigeons are, there Bert may be.
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Ó 2001 by Bob James. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to distribute this article to others without charge as long as it is distributed in its entirety and this notice is attached. This article may not be distributed commercially either individually or as part of any anthology without the express written consent of the author.
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