Homeland Security Force Praises Sesame Street

 

Sesame Street, CTW (SPA) October 16, 2001 Ė Homeland Security Agents praised residents of Sesame Street for their support and quick reaction during the recent incident involving Bert. "In the middle of a tense and difficult situation, residents of Sesame Street proved to be a great help in getting to the bottom of the story. We applaud them for their efforts and assistance. We hope things get back to normal for these fine residents soon."

When asked about Bert, agents responded, "We didnít have enough evidence to convict Bert, so he has been released. He will be able to return to Sesame Street and resume his normal life." Agents refused to answer whether or not they would be watching him.

Bert refused to comment other than to say, "I am glad that I am free again. I have always loved my friends on Sesame Street and would never do anything to hurt them or cause them pain. I am anxious to go back to my normal life again."

Back to normal again. Isnít that what everybody wants. Ernie started the process by offering Bert a big bowl of oatmeal when Bert walked in. Ernie watched as Bert ate. He watched as Bert checked on his button collection. He started to go upstairs with Bert when Bert went to check on his pigeons.

"Ernie," Bert asked, "what are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing Bert," Ernie responded. "I just thought I would watch you do all those things you do. I mean, how well do I really know you?"

"You know me just fine Ernie," Bert snapped. "What else do you need to know about me?"

"Oh, nothing Bert," Ernie answered. "Go ahead."

Bert turned to walk up the stairs when Ernie called him again, "Bert?"

"Yes, Ernie. What is it now?"

"Tell me about the picture, Bert. How did he get in that picture with you?" Ernie asked.

"I donít know, Ernie. I donít know, ok?" Bert was not happy with Ernie.

"Oh, ok Bert. Go ahead." Ernie responded with a tinge of suspicion in his voice.

"Back to normal again" may take longer to achieve than either Bert or Ernie would like.

-30-

 

Satirical Press Associates (SPA) is a group of writers or one writer with multiple personalities who have (has) a warped sense of reality. None of their (his) reports should be construed as factual, although they (he) have (has) been known to take factual situations and distort them. Those who wish to support this endeavor may be crazier than the author(s) but are welcome to e-mail bob@jamesgang.ws for information.

 Ó 2001 by Bob James. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to distribute this article to others without charge as long as it is distributed in its entirety and this notice is attached. This article may not be distributed commercially either individually or as part of any anthology without the express written consent of the author.

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