Early gifts available included coffee cups, computer mouse pads, and golf towels, balls, umbrellas and shirts. While the selection was originally limited to official agency items already on hand, plans are to expand the product and services line tremendously. "We have more ideas in the works already, " said 1009. "We would like to make available code books, autographed pictures and biographies of our secret agents, secret files on neighbors, and satellite uplink/downlink time. We could even add customized surveillance for the right price!"
A reporter asked 1009 about reports that the top secret agency was taking a cue from the White House and selling opportunities to drink coffee and chat for $25,000, to sit in on a top secret meeting for $50,000 or go on an NSA "ride-along" for $100,000. While she refused to confirm or deny these reports, her broad smile as she said, "No comment," spoke volumes. "All I can say is that we will take all major credit cards, checks, money orders, and unmarked cash in large bulky envelopes."
___________________________________________________________
Satirical Press Associates (SPA) is a group of writers or one writer with multiple personalities who have (has) a warped sense of reality. None of their (his) reports should be construed as factual, although they (he) have (has) been known to take factual situations and distort them. You are invited to gain a free trial membership by writing Bob James. Trial memberships last until they end. Those who wish to support this endeavor may be crazier than the author(s) but are welcome to e-mail the earlier address for information.
©1997 by Bob James. All rights reserved. Permission is granted
to distribute this article to others without charge as long as it is distributed
in its entirety and this notice is attached. This article may not be distributed
commercially either individually or as part of any anthology without the
express written consent of the author.
Return to Bob James's View of Life